Spiritual encouragement

I am trying to spend time in the word and in Christian books. I am reading in Acts currently. Paul is in Athens and he is teaching about this "new religion" (NLT). As he is defending/explaining, I was struck by how great our God is; how able He is! (Able to take us through this time of separation and illness!)

Acts 17:24-28,

"He is the God who made the world and everything in it. Since He is Lord of heaven and earth, He doesn't live in man-made temples, and human hands can't serve His needs - for He has no needs. He Himself gives life and breath to everything, and He satisfies every need there is. From one man He created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand which should rise and fall, and He determined their boundaries. His purpose in all of this was that the nations should seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him - though he is not far from any one of us. For in Him we live and move and exist. As one of your own poets says, 'We are His offspring.'"

I am also reading Lysa Terkeurst's "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith". It is really a devotional. It is a study of "the five phases of faith you'll pass through to achieve your dream". I don't feel as if I am really in the pursuit of a dream currently. At least not personally. WE are in pursuit of Noelle's healing. Compared to when we were in pursuit of God's calling to adoption, I am frustrated by a lack of spiritual calling in my life right now.

The books second phase is Famine. My heart resonates with that right now. Terkeurst says, "God sees you trying. He knows when you are doing the best you can."

But am I really doing my best...

"My Heart's Cry"

My parents sent me a box of books. Thanks Mom and Dad. In order to encourage my spiritual journey, I decided I would read one Christian book then one fiction. So this book is the first one I chose; written by Anne Graham Lotz. To be honest I am not in love with her writing style. She interrupts her writing with poetic lists way too often. But the following passage struck me:

"Actually, for the majority of people, including Christian leaders and teachers, life is just not fair! It's hard and often unlike what we expect."

The endnotes add, "While life is unfair and hard for everyone, Christians and non-Christians alike, the Christian has a decided advantage because we know our pressures, pain, and problems are not wasted. They serve a divine purpose that is ultimately for our good and God's glory."

Romans 8:28, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."

Good reads

Loved this book! You will experience every emotion!

Amazing story set during World War I. Covers some psychological ground that is very intriguing. Both of these authors are new to me, if you can recommend any of their other works please let me know.

This book was a gift for my daughter and I. It is written by a woman who struggled with Lyme disease. Honestly, it took me a few entries to appreciate the book. It felt like all her hope was put in heaven. I need some here on earth. And as I continued on, I have found hope. From day 24,

"When you feel on the verge of sinking in despair, turn to Me for help. Cling to My hand, and walk by faith through the darkness. Do not focus on the circumstances that are weighing you down. Instead, through eyes of faith, look ahead to brighter times, and praise Me for them. While you worship Me in the midst of darkness, I enable you to see the first gleam of dawn on the path before you. Continue walking worshipfully with Me-a walk of faith. As you persevere along this path, the dim light will gradually shine brighter and brighter till the full light of day."

2 Corinthians 5:7, "We walk by faith, not by sight."

Proverbs 4:18, "The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full lights of day."

So I will continue to search for that dim light as Noelle continues to be in pain every day. As she screams out as a new and fierce pain hits here. As we wait for a solution, a miracle.

Must read for anyone with a heart for Africa. It tells about the role of women during the civil war in Liberia.

When Life is Hard

                                                                 
I guess this is kind of a book review.  I had mixed emotions about this book.  Especially at the beginning it appears that Mr. MacDonald believes that hard times are discipline from God.  I agree this may sometimes be the case.  I agree that God allows things into our lives, as in He could surely stop them from happening.  But a child who has cancer is discipline upon whom??

Okay, so that was the part I struggled with.  But, for me, in the place I am there was lots of good stuff.  Encouraging and convicting stuff.

"You can't make yourself joyful.  Joy comes only from God.  When James says, "Consider it all joy," he's telling you, "Reach out to God.  Get God's heart in this matter."...Joy is a supernatural delight in the Person, purposes and people of God....A supernatural delight in the purposes of God means you know there's something bigger than yourself going on here.  There's something unfolding that is so far beyond the here and now.  God has a purpose.  Joy in trials says, I'm going to find a way to trust Him even though I'm not seeing Him."

"The life of a true Christian is about displaying the superiority of the life lived in God...The contrast is deep between how a son or daughter of the kingdom and how a son or daughter of this world handles hard times...Whatever you are facing-in this moment-your situation is your opportunity to shine the light of Christ to those who observe you.  You can display the superiority of a life lived in God.  Realizing that reality and embracing it with your whole heart allows first a sprinkling of joy...and then a stream and finally a downpour to flood your soul.  But you can't come to that conclusion coping on your own.  You can't consider it joy when you're filling your face with food to dull your pain."

"Only by considering why you are here, and what life is really about and where you will be going very soon can you consider your trial joy.  Paul said, "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.'"

"We think the answer is a new environment but the real answer is a new me."

"What God allows for your good, Satan wants to twist into evil.  Sin that hasn't tempted you for a long time can crush you during a trial, when all of your strength and all of your resources and all of your energy are going into surviving!  You're just trying to get by when Satan will come in and make a rush on you.  You can find yourself stumbling and falling into thought and action patterns that you thought were gone forever."

"You con't be successful in trials without Him.  You can't do anything right spiritually without Him."

"...grant to me an unusual submission to You.  This is the life that You have marked out for me...this is Your plan for me here and now...Forgive my rebelliousness.  Forgive my stubbornness, God...I can't get through this on my own...Forgive my stubborn, rebellious ways."

"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you" because,  without it, you are up a creek (AMEN)...Grace is the capacity to do anything spiritually profitable...The time that we need most to recommit ourselves to the things God has called us to is exactly when the times are toughest.  Stan desires to have us so that he might sift us like wheat.  Yet the Lord has promised that He will be with us in the hour of the trial."

"Sufficient grace is not just enough to survive, but enough to have supernatural joy in the midst of anything He allows to go through."

"God knows you better than you know yourself.  You don't know what you are capable of when you're resting in God's strength and not your own.  You're going to get through this one way or another.  It's not going to last forever and you will get through it- because God is faithful.  Reassure yourself, I'm not going under."

More tidbits...
1.  Do you believe God is in control?   YES
2.  Do you believe that God is good no matter what you see, no matter what you face, no matter what you feel?  YES
3.  Will you wait on Him by faith until the darkness becomes light?
How will you spend the time waiting?

When life is hard or during your trial...
1.  Guard your behavior.
*display the fruit of the Spirit
*get ready for battle, put your armor on
*it is not the hardship but your response that matters

2.  Grace your relationships
*love, forgive, show hospitality without grumbling

3.  Give away your gift.

4.  Glorify God.
*the centerpiece of God's creation is us, we are here to display His glory

"Strive for peace"  Hebrews 12:14
Absence of relational strife.  Strive for no strife...with everyone!

People are watching my life!


Scary for me.  And don't worry I don't consider my family a trial, most of the time:)  But I do feel like life is HARD right now.  I feel like I am definitely in the midst of the refiner's fire.  Perhaps if I could learn the lessons God wants me to learn more quickly, He could turn the heat down a little!!

A Spiritual Retreat

There are things I can blog about and things I don't feel comfortable blogging about. The past month has been rough and I don't feel that I can share any details. I can say that as a "diamond in the rough" I was able to get about eight days of really good time with God. I have read through Judges. I have listened to tons of praise music and I have prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I also read some great books: "A Place of Healing" by Joni Eareckson Tada, "God is Closer than You Think" by John Ortberg, "Life of the Beloved" by Henri Nouwen, "Breaking the Rules" by Fil Anderson, and I started "Five Smooth Stones" by Tom Nelson.

I feel very refreshed and that was needed. Now I just pray that I can continue to find the Lord throughout my day. Right now I am going to read my Bible before I go to bed. No Pogo for me!

Things are still hard for our family. Lots going on in many different areas. But our world is in HIS capable hands.

Are you Radical??

TEMESGEN UPDATE!

We do not have a travel date, which is really frustrating. We traveled to get Sabrina just under a month after she passed court. Temesgen passed court May 20th and we are still waiting for our US Embassy date to be approved. They used the term "investigating" today. We are unsure what that means. I asked if there was any way the courts could be reversed and our agency representative gave me a very reassuring, "I don't think so." OUCH! They are shooting for an embassy date of August 25th. This gives us time to get Jake to Iowa State, where he will begin his freshman year, majoring in Biochemistry. It also gives us time to support Noelle as she begins her first year in high school. Unfortunately, it also means that neither of them can travel with us. I so wanted Jake to travel since he did not travel to get Sabrina. Pray that even though he can't travel that he and Temesgen will have an opportunity to "bond" in a unique and awesome way!! I keep trying to remember that God's timing is perfect and that His plan is much better than my plan. Please pray for us as we try to make preparations to bring our son home. I really have no idea how to pursue issues of language, education and even medical issues with Temesgen's leg. Pray that God would guide us and give us peace and patience. Pray for the unbelievably hard transition that Temesgen will have to make as he leaves Ethiopia!

This is a great book recommended to me by many of my blogger buddies. I am waiting for Scott to read it to fully process what it is saying to me. But, as Scott's dad would say, it resonates with how I am feeling about the American Dream right now and how I think God wants us to live and deal with our wealth as Americans. Pick it up and see if it challenges your thinking!

Awesome Book Study!!

Can't remember if I mentioned or not...we are finally in an adult small group. After leading youth small groups for thirteen years, we are so excited. The book Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus is what we are reading. We are watching video clips and using the workbook, but this book absolutely will stand alone! It is a study of Jonathan, and focuses on seizing your divine moment. Here a just a few of the many, many things that I have underlined.

-"The most spiritual activity you will engage in today is making choices."

-"There are things God does for you and things that God waits for you to do."

-"...while God leaves us with many choices to make, when He has spoken, the one right choice is to obey."

-"We must resolve not only to leave the path of doing evil, but also to passionately pursue a life of doing good."

-"At worst a passive life is only pitied, yet God counts it as a tragedy when we choose to simply watch life rather than live it. Jesus described as wicked the person who leaves his talent unused. When we fail to choose, we choose to fail. You cannot put your life on hold. It moves forward with or without your approval. Choosing not to choose does not put off the problem, only exacerbates it."

-"...when you are passionate about God, you can trust your passions."

-"God rarely shows you the problem so that you can tell someone else about it."

I could go on and on. If you want to be challenged to step outside of your comfort zone and live for God in a way that will rock your world...this is the book for you. If that scares you, read it anyway!

Good reading.

An amazing book about the struggle of families in Northern Uganda. "Some day when you stand before God and He asks, 'Did you know about what was going on in Northern Uganda?' What will you say? If He asks, 'Did you know children were being murdered, raped and abducted? What did you do?" U.S. Senator Sam Brownback (from Kansas) I haven't decided what my response will be. I want to look at sponsoring a child. I need to find out where Uganda is in this conflict today.
My mom and my sister recommended this one. Apparently there is some outcry by the Christian community about how God is portrayed. I am comforted by this portrayal of God. I love the picture of the trinity. If you need to feel God's arms wrapped around you, this is a great place to start.

I started this book quite a while ago and got distracted. It would make a great daily devotional. The subtitle is "Trusting God Takes You to Amazing Places". Who doesn't want that!

No new news on Sabrina. How I love being able to type her name!!! We are anxiously awaiting assignment of an embassy date. Then we can make our travel plans. Scott IS going with me. Yeah!! There was a little question, but that has been resolved. Thanks, Christy, for being our "back up plan".

The Hiding Place

I love to read. One of the many things I enjoy about the adoption yahoo groups and blogs that I have been following the past year or so is the reading lists. I keep my own list of the books I read about that I would like to read. I have just finished Corrie ten Boom's "The Hiding Place". There are many extraordinary things in Corrie's tale about surviving WWII in Holland. I love to open my eyes to the struggles of the world both now and in the past. It gives me such an appreciation for how truly blessed we are. I checked this particular book out at the library and the version I received has a section at the end titled, "Three Ways to Put This Book to Work in Your Own Life". I would like to summarize this section.

(1) God governs all things, even those that appear to us senseless or cruel.

Like waiting to pick up our angel, like watching a 3 year old suffer from cancer, like war, and on and on. One by one, transfer your worries from your own care to God's "Lord, because I do not have the answers to these things I do not therefore conclude that there are no answers. You know why, Lord, and when I am strong enough-wise enough, loving enough-you will show me, too." Amazing to think that we may not be ready for the "whole story", but God in His wisdom knows when the perfect time is.

(2) God supplies grace for present need.

Don't run ahead of God's supply of grace and strength. Don't "borrow trouble". Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." And verse 27, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life." This is especially good for me to remember when I have two children on the other side of the world/equator.

(3) God wills us to give thanks.

Now, not when every issue is resolved. "Our praise and gratitude in some mysterious way open the door for Him to bless us as He wishes." Think about some issues that you are most definitely NOT thankful for. Now set yourself the discipline of giving thanks daily for these things as well. See how God is able to use your changed attitude to change facts. For Corrie, it was fleas in her bunk in the concentration camp. Yuck! What possible good could come from that? She found out that the guards avoided their room for this very reason allowing them freedom to share the gospel!

Our God is amazing!!

Jewels

I finished reading Kay Warren's book, "Dangerous Surrender", and listening to the accompanying information on her website. Her are just a couple of the things that struck me:

*Luke 12:48, "Much is required from those to whom much is given."

*Ephesians 6:12, "This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels." (the Message)

*"The Lord of all calls us to live lives of love, mercy, and grace thus making the invisible God visible. It's not a matter of one or the other; we must care for both body and soul. We are Christ's ambassadors. If we fail, he has no plan B."

*"Become a positive advocate for you own local church by speaking well of it, in spite of its limitations." Maybe for most of you this is a no-brainer, but our church has been in turmoil for so long that some days this is a hard one for me.

*God wants us to be surrendered, disturbed and ruined for his people!

On the adoption front the Lord is teaching me patience, which is a character quality I have always said I do not have. We received the DVD of waiting children Friday night. Noelle and I anxiously watched it. Not Scott and I, because he was out of town. We feel like we know exactly which children are ours. We're dying for Scott to get home. He does, Sunday night at midnight. Monday night he falls asleep at 7:00 and sleeps until 6:00 this morning. Obviously the man needed sleep, but enough already! So we are praying that tonight we can sit down as a family and contemplate this huge issue before us. Talk about life changing! I am hoping that without too much encouragement that Jake will join us, at least for awhile. More as soon as I know more!

Amazing books

I am currently reading two books: "Dangerous Surrender" by Kay Warren and "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith" by Lysa Terkeurst. They are really blowing me away. Kay recommends the above song, and I totally agree. It captures how I feel; how I want to feel! I am also participating in a "Daniel Fast". (See http://www.danielfast.wordpress.com/) I am not ready to comment a lot on that, other than I felt led to fast on behalf of our adoption and nothing "fit" until I came across this plan.

Some quotes from Lysa's book: "Leave the way you've always done life and start doing things differently with God. Leave the attitude, leave the stubborn pride, leave the right to be right, leave the control, and biggest of all, leave the unbelief."

"God does indeed have a plan. Not just a good plan. Not even a really good plan. God has the perfect plan."

Psalm 68:6a, "God places the lonely in families..."

"A life that requires very little faith is not a life that God will use. When we are willing to embark on a life that requires faith, we are more aware of God and His ability to provide for us in every detail of our lives. We won't wait until everything in our lives is in order and then decide, "Okay, now I have the time to work on living by faith." We will never have everything in order, and faith can't be dispensed like a can of soda from a machine. Faith is learned through life."

Psalm 37:5, "Commit everything you do to the Lord, trust Him, and He will help you."

"When you're embarking on an adventure with God, it's easy to get bombarded by all the "what ifs" of the task at hand...Instead of looking at the impossibilities of the adoption, we (Lysa and her husband) ultimately decided to step out in faith according to shat we knew God was telling us to do. When doubt began to take root, we depended on God to work out the unknowns...We knew we served a big God who could handle all that we had to cast upon Him."

That's just a taste to whet your appetite. On the adoption front, we have not yet received the waiting child DVD, and Scott and Jake are out of town until Sunday evening. So we will not be making any decisions in the next day or so. Though I am on pins and needles as I wait! Noelle is as excited as I am, so that makes it fun! We check out the list and photos almost every day.

Cries for Liberia

I just finished "Tears of the Rain". The book ends in March, 2004. The women of Liberia are sharing with the author, "Elections are coming, so the people running for president go to the witch doctor. He tells them which body parts he needs for his sacrifices. Usually it's the tongue, the eyes, the private parts, and the blood. Yes, it's true." They kidnap children to provide these sacrifices! They go on to say, "That's why we don' let our chil'ren out of sight. But all we need to do is call on the Blood, an' we will be safe!" What incredible faith! "There are many witches operating in Liberia. If you are not a Christian they will get you. You wouldn't believe what powers the rulers of darkness have on people who allow them."

Ephesians 6:12-18, "For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms. Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere."

Romans 8:38-39, "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

We beg you Lord, be strong in Liberia. Stand against the evil one. Protect your people and your work there.

What a great week!

I have been waiting to blog all week, because we had such a great weekend. But, I wanted to post pictures and my husband misplaced the memory card to our camera. Scary. I am trying not to panic. Saturday afternoon after Noelle's soccer game, she scored two goals before she came out with a stomach ache, the four of us went to our cabin. Jake, Scott and Noelle all went deer hunting. I stayed at the cabin to assemble furniture and greet my parents when they stopped by. Jake shot his first deer with a bow. Sorry if they are any anti-hunters out there. It is hard to explain the magic of being at our cabin. Currently there is no electricity and no running water, so it is just us and 40 acres and an amazing view. As we drove back to town for church I asked my husband if his family was this close when he was in high school. He shook his head and I had to say no also. My 15 year old son turned down a date to homecoming and came with us. That in itself is a great story. A junior asked him (I can hear you all now), but we decided to give him permission to go with some restrictions. He chose not to go when he decided she might be someone who would want to drink. Yeah, Jake!

Then Monday my sister called. Now my family has not been negative about the adoption but they have not been excited either. And we are an excitable family. This is such an answer to prayer. She said, "I have a word for you". I was like oh, great! She said, "No, it's a good one."
She proceeded to relay to me a conversation she had with her mentor. Her mentor and her husband had actually considered adopting from Liberia and knew many families that have. She was able to express to my sister that when we felt a call from God that we needed to obey "no matter what". (See previous post entitled Obedience.) She also was able to express to my sister the desperate situation in Liberia and that in many cases this is a rescue mission. Sometimes due to health and poverty, but always in that hopefully these children will be saved for eternity by being raised in a Christian home. Somehow my sister was able to hear these words when mine have failed me. PTL!!

I have started a new Beth Moore study entitled "A Woman's Heart". I want to share a couple "nuggets" from this week. She has been taking us from the garden to the tabernacle and especially looking at obedience. She says, "Abraham was freed to be faithful to God on the basis of his belief that God would always be faithful to him." Amen. Then she talks about God as the "I Am", or "I am being that I am being," or "I am the Is-ing One". She writes, "Whatever your circumstances, your challenges, your doubts, or your pain, if you are in covenant relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ, the King of the universe is your Is-ing One and He's presently is-ing in every area of your life!"

I know I am jumping around here, but I have lots to share. If you need to open your heart to Africa, rent "God Grew Tired of Us" and/or read "Tears of the Rain". Both great pictures of the tragedy that has happened in Sudan and Liberia. It strikes me again and again that this is recent history not decades ago. People were evacuated from Liberia five years ago. "Tears of the Rain" gives specific stories of the many orphans or babies whose parents cannot possibly parent them. Wow.

Two more quick things. If you need funds for pursuing an adoption, Rachel and Christy, check out globalorphanoutreach.com. Their mission is to find funds for adoption. One of the people involved, Donna Barber, just left Acres of Hope to pursue this new venture. Apparently it is well worth the fee. Also, Scott and I leave tomorrow for a little getaway to celebrate our 20th anniversary. Please pray for Noelle, as she is convinced that she will surely perish without us. She is very dramatic and very clingy since a homesick episode at girl scout camp this summer. Pray for my parents as they watch them that she is not too tough on them.

Well, except for the fact that I really wish I had pictures to post, I guess that is it. Thank you Lord for this incredible season in my life!

Blue Clay People

Apparently I was born to research. I love to read and since we decided to adopt I am reading everything I can find on adoption and Liberia and related topics. I just finished "Blue Clay People" by William Powers. What an amazingly clear picture of Liberia just six years ago! Each one of the children at AoH have family, moms and dads that lived through all of that. Some of the older children lived through the violence and poverty. I know that some of that is still there now, though hopefully not the violence.

So being the ex-English minor that I am, I had to look up the words that I did not recognize. So here is your lesson for the day:
obsequiousness: compliant, deferential, obedient, dutiful (used to refer to the Liberians)

quixotic: chivalrous, romantic, visionary, impractical

tetra pods: four-footed (used to refer to hippos, I should have been able to figure this one out)

lebensraum: additional territory desired by a nation

koan: a nonsensical question to a student for which an answer is demanded, the stress of meditation on the question often being illuminating

"Like any good koan, the more you meditate on it, the more it unfolds like a lotus flower and makes sense." I feel this way about this adoption, and even about my walk with God. It feels as if this process is making things much clearer.