I woke up thinking about our wedding. Thinking we should renew our vows and I should wear my wedding dress. (Obviously this part was a dream, as I would have to lose 60 pounds. Ouch!) Maybe for our 30th, less than four years away. I pictured it taking place in the chapel at our church. If you open the back doors I think you would face the sunset. Wouldn't that be beautiful. Then I remembered my vows. And I began to wonder if I have kept them.
August 22, 1987:
"Scott, I take you as my wedded husband. I will live with you always according to the word of God. I will strive to live so that you may always see God's spirit shining through me. I will be honest with you, encourage you, respect you, and be faithful to you. I will attempt to always be sensitive to you. I will watch not only what I say but how I say it. I will be flexible to any changes God might bring into our life together."
"But most of all, Scott, I will never give up on us, for I know God has brought us together."
There are a lot of "ouch"s in there as well. I have had a tendency to use the struggles we are going through, especially Noelle's health, as an excuse to take out all of my stress and frustration on Scott. Lord, forgive me. Scott, forgive me. Lord, help me!
My tongue has always been a source of frustration. I even gave a sermon on James in high school. And of course James is what we have been studying in my small group lately. For sure, the two things God has been talking to me about lately are my tongue and gratitude.
So join me in thinking before you speak, and in giving thanks. Perfect week for both!