Sunday, January 16, 2011

Tough Stuff!

I know the reason that I have been avoiding blogging is because I am in a tough spot. God has brought us here and I hope and pray He will deliver us. But it is hard. It is hard to hang on to our marriage. It is hard to show love to anyone when I am tired and challenged. It is hard for me to back down when my instinct is to fight. I mean all these things as much or more with the kids as with Scott.

The delicate balance and workings of our family have been dumped into a big concrete mixer and tumbled to a place that is beyond recognition. Our first born, has gone off to college. Our second born is struggling with her place in life and her place in this family. Teme is fighting to adjust to a new culture and a new family. Sabrina...well I always just say Sabrina is 3. Scott and I have zero time to ourselves. In an effort to create a sense of relaxation for each other we are constantly splitting up, one of us one direction and one of us the other.

Huge, scary things are on the horizon. Thank the Lord that He is in control and not I!! This week we will spend some time focusing on Noelle and the things that she is struggling with. Please pray for us. Her battle has been a long one and she so desires healing. We are still waiting for a confirmed date, but sometime in the next two months Temesgen will have his left leg amputated. Obviously there are huge issues involved with that. Please pray for all aspects. Pray especially that the hearts of our two oldest would be touched toward Teme during this process.

I can't begin to pour out all that is in my heart and soul. This has been harder than anything I could have imagined. When God said go, we just went. I did not sit and think about all that could go wrong. I knew God was in control. I know He is in control. But I wish for different timing, different plans. I must know that HIS plans are ideal!

4 comments:

theMom said...

You have beautiful children. You guys are wonderful.

I love seeing all the pics. Thanks for taking the time to do that.

I'm sorry you're going through such a trying time. It sounds like you are keeping the faith through it all, but I"m sure it does not always feel like that.

Ps. 46:10
Jer. 17:7-8
Ps. 27:14

Christy said...

Wow! I've been so busy I haven't visited here in so long! Teme looks so happy in his new family and Sabrina is such a little girl now! I did see the video. It was amazing! I'll try not to be such a stranger!

jon and marisa said...

Thank you for your honesty, being real, and sharing your heart. so refreshing!
You are one AMAZING woman!
Praying for you, sweet friend . . . for strength, rest, comfort, and joy in the midst of this crazy time in your life!
love you!
Marisa

Cabeen's said...

continue to have you in our thoughts