I know the reason that I have been avoiding blogging is because I am in a tough spot. God has brought us here and I hope and pray He will deliver us. But it is hard. It is hard to hang on to our marriage. It is hard to show love to anyone when I am tired and challenged. It is hard for me to back down when my instinct is to fight. I mean all these things as much or more with the kids as with Scott.
The delicate balance and workings of our family have been dumped into a big concrete mixer and tumbled to a place that is beyond recognition. Our first born, has gone off to college. Our second born is struggling with her place in life and her place in this family. Teme is fighting to adjust to a new culture and a new family. Sabrina...well I always just say Sabrina is 3. Scott and I have zero time to ourselves. In an effort to create a sense of relaxation for each other we are constantly splitting up, one of us one direction and one of us the other.
Huge, scary things are on the horizon. Thank the Lord that He is in control and not I!! This week we will spend some time focusing on Noelle and the things that she is struggling with. Please pray for us. Her battle has been a long one and she so desires healing. We are still waiting for a confirmed date, but sometime in the next two months Temesgen will have his left leg amputated. Obviously there are huge issues involved with that. Please pray for all aspects. Pray especially that the hearts of our two oldest would be touched toward Teme during this process.
I can't begin to pour out all that is in my heart and soul. This has been harder than anything I could have imagined. When God said go, we just went. I did not sit and think about all that could go wrong. I knew God was in control. I know He is in control. But I wish for different timing, different plans. I must know that HIS plans are ideal!