Fat

1. Having too much flabby tissue; corpulent; obese
2. Plump; well-fed

Corpulent:
Large or bulky of body; portly; stout; fat

I want off the diet roller coaster. I have been up and down so many times. I have read that you should be able to maintain your college weight. That is 60 pounds less than I weigh right now. Unbelievable. I would be happy with 40 pounds less. I get it together for a few days and then I fall apart again.

I know I am an emotional/stress eater. So I am trying to connect with Lysa Terkeurst's book "Made to Crave". It talks about how God made us to crave. We need to choose to crave God rather than food. Does this really work for anyone, other than Lysa? When I am stressed I offer up a popcorn prayer and grab some food. I am supposed to be eating gluten-free due to the Lyme. Scott keeps telling me if I eat gluten-free I will lose weight. Not so much. There are actually great gluten-free convenience foods and I know how to cook. And too much of anything isn't good. I need to find the full/off button. I need to exercise.

Speaking of which, I actually like to exercise. But it takes time and, more importantly, energy. Which is a scarcity right now.

Back to Lysa's book...she doesn't really say that overeating (being fat) is a sin. She does say it is a lack of self-control. Hard to argue with that. And self-control is definitely seen as a good thing in the Bible, God's word.

Galatians 5:22 and 23a, "But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce in us: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

So the Holy Spirit is apparently not controlling my life. Ouch. I have lived in self-controlled ways, for a time. I ate vegan for 8 months. I looked and felt amazing. I ran a half marathon (the year I turned 40). I did 3 sprint triathlons. But then I always fall apart. The fall usually starts with stress. Well the last 2 years have been full of stress.

I don't know where I am going with all of this. Any ideas? Let me know. I want off the roller coaster.